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The divorce factor may allow some women to experience single-faith marriage at some point as some Mormon men marry multiple Mormon women over the course of their lifetimes, but the overall point stands: The only options for these women involve seeking a partner outside of the church, or a lifetime of celibacy. And if you do belong to a ward full of cretins, you must do everyone a favor and just ignore them until they go extinct. It's so sad to think that people so young will be stuck wearing 19th century undies when they should enjoy their years of being young and stylish. Now it's easier, as they are older, and he's making more time for them. Having said that, I believe strongly that it takes a special individual who can remain active in the church and have a non-traditional marriage. And for your husbands, you are that person. As my husband learns about Mormonism I get to see it through his fresh eyes.
If you can genuinely deconvert her then cool. As a docs wife we have to deal with all sorts, and prayer has often been my lifeline. We all know people who know that the gospel is true but they will not accept it. Please realize I know how the church works, was extremely active and raised good kids. How the Book of Mormon was translated using a sacred rock. Some Mormon girls succumb to worldly laziness. There is still a chance you can work out your differences, but it will require major concessions on both sides.